broken jaw and all

inglourious basterds. two guys and a girl walk out of a bar; this is what happens next. bridget von hammersmark/archie hicox. rated nc-17. 2098 words. AU.

notes: LOL you guys I don't even know. i feel like anything and everything i write these days needs to be preempted with a disclaimer of just how shameless i've become in the writing department. HI I AM SHAMELESS. also, in the late night hours, three glasses of vino in, i stumbled upon the Inglourious Basterds kink meme. and have i mentioned i have no shame? the prompt in question was: "Bridget von Hammersmark/Lt. Archie Hicox, gunplay, talking dirty. Bonus points if Stiglitz watches." did you really expect me to resist THAT? that said, this has ZERO literary/fic/shame-free merit, and um, i still can't believe i wrote this?

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the worst-case scenario survival handbook

lost. a plane crashes in the jungle. if no one is alive to hear it, does it make a sound? original characters. rated r. 7860 words.

notes: haha, oh boy. this shall be known as the fic that ate my brain. and yes - original characters in a lost fic. oh, er, original of me? so, you remember that one time nikki and paulo were around and they were supposed to just be two random crash survivors and wound up being the most annoying jewel thieves on the planet? i sort of ran with that idea (minus the jewel thieving) and made two random background characters up and told the story through their eyes? THAT SAID: this is cracky and ridiculous and has zero literary (or fic) merit, haha. basically, i just really love deserted island stories. the end!

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one nation - under bluth
(or, how michael learned to stop worrying and not really love the bomb)

fandom: arrested development
disclaimer: not mine
rating: pg
word count: 1424
summary: vote lucille! the bluths conquer the white house. for a little, at least.

notes: hello, crack!fic. and this? is crack in its purest, most random form. i blame thisisironic completely for this.

I finished it! (It's so cracked out, kids. So, so cracked. So cracked I don't even think I'll x-post this hot litle mess.)

Vacant Hotel Rooms
five lovers Jordan McDeere never had
(or, men that make Danny Tripp appear a fraction of a man)

Fandom(s): Studio 60, The West Wing, Lost, Friends, Arrested Development, Law and Order: SVU
Disclaimer: None of these characters are mine.
Pairing: Jordan McDeere/Josh Lyman, Jordan McDeere/Jack Shephard, Jordan McDeere/Chandler Bing, Jordan McDeere/Gob Bluth, Jordan McDeere/Elliot Stabler
Word Count: 4155
Rating: R
Summary: All these people drinking lover's spit.

Author's Note: I can't believe I wrote this. I blame zauberer_sirinfor it all. And I dedicate this to her, as some kind of warped Christmas present, to celebrate all the mad love we have for one Jordan McDeere and the aimee!verse. Pretty much, this is bonkers AU with me fitting Jordan into five different shows at five different stages of her life. It's written as five vignettes, so there's no real cohesion there, and a general knowledge of each fandom is assumed. That said, do read, and hopefully enjoy. I'm totally nervous about this one.