a room filled up with mosquitoes

community. to quote the great prophet lady gaga, you and me could write a bad romance. or something (in spanish, we would say: un romance malo; senor chang would be so proud). britta, jeff/britta, slight jeff/annie. rated r. spoilers through “debate 109.” 5005 words.

notes: um, yeah. so this happened? i really don't have anything to say other than that, heh.

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wishbone

bones. pull it till it breaks (or, an assortment of moments collected among the living and the dead (but mostly the dead)). brennan, booth/brennan. rated pg. 2432 words. spoilers through season 3 (OLD SCHOOL!)

notes: oh boyyy. i don't even know. i was trying to study this afternoon, and instead this kept pouring out of me? basically, i've been watching season three lately, and basically i have this really huge problem that there is never any fallout from the whole karaoke club shoot-out, for lack of a better term, and i am sure 90% of fandom has already written about this, but whatever, this is my long-winded way of saying: i do what i want, haha.

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MUTUAL ASSENT

rpf. everybody here’s got a familiar face; everybody knows your name. ensemble; rose byrne, diane kruger, matthew goode, michael fassbender, hugh dancy, etc., etc. rated pg-13. 3236 words.

notes: as usual: lies, lies, lies. but fun lies. and that's what's important, right?

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another apple to slice into pieces.

criminal minds. maps can chart more than geography – they’ve been everywhere and they’ve seen it all. hotch; hotch/prentiss. rated pg-13. 2384 words.

notes: no real spoilers? basically this takes place in some nebulous made-up period where either the season 4 finale never happened or has yet to happen. so AU? i guess?

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broken jaw and all

inglourious basterds. two guys and a girl walk out of a bar; this is what happens next. bridget von hammersmark/archie hicox. rated nc-17. 2098 words. AU.

notes: LOL you guys I don't even know. i feel like anything and everything i write these days needs to be preempted with a disclaimer of just how shameless i've become in the writing department. HI I AM SHAMELESS. also, in the late night hours, three glasses of vino in, i stumbled upon the Inglourious Basterds kink meme. and have i mentioned i have no shame? the prompt in question was: "Bridget von Hammersmark/Lt. Archie Hicox, gunplay, talking dirty. Bonus points if Stiglitz watches." did you really expect me to resist THAT? that said, this has ZERO literary/fic/shame-free merit, and um, i still can't believe i wrote this?

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mr. demille (we are ready for our close-up)

rpf. you know the expression well: a picture is worth a thousand words. you forget that often what goes unsaid matters most of all. diane kruger/michael fassbender. rated r. 4528 words.

notes: credit in part is dude to the always marvelous C, fated_addiction for letting me bounce ideas off of and being one of the best enablers around, *laughs*. also, this was written with notyourtea's current challenge, SCANDALS, in mind, heh. and as always: the following is not true. the end.

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events inspired by sergio leone

rpf. these things can be classified as the good, the bad, or the just plain ugly. diane kruger/michael fassbender. rated r. 6632 words.

notes: for fated_addiction! my fellow enabler! yeah, i went there. because seriously, dude. i apparently have no shame in the realm of rpf? whatever. lies, lies, upon more lies up in here.

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pins in the atlas

rpf. actor might just be another word for a professional, a liar; hollywood might just be everywhere. rose byrne/hugh dancy. rated pg-13. 2966 words.

notes: for oonak who requested these two! as usual, these are all lies on top of lies and some more lies. fun to write, but so not the truth, heh.

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a common consensus

rpf. an actor’s life is comprised of the fabric of repetition and the lives of others. billy crudup; ensemble. rated pg-13. 6020 words.

notes: for viennawaits! she had requested billy crudup/anna friel, and it sort of wound up being more ensemble-y? idk. but as usual, this is all LIES, LIES, LIES. no offense meant.

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we don't bleed (when we don't fight)

lost. five points of reference in the life of eloise hawking. eloise; charles/eloise. rated pg. general season five spoilers. 772 words.

notes: for lenina_20! her prompt had been this icon, and, um. it would up being moreso about eloise than charles? *laughs* that said, hope you enjoy!

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accidents
FOUR WAYS THIS NEVER SHOULD HAVE HAPPENED
also known as, four clichés to get you into bed

star trek. the problem with sex and love and every transgression in between is the simple lack of a step-by-step recipe to follow. christine chapel; christine/mccoy. rated nc-17. 8303 words.

notes: UGH. this fic! um, i can't even put into words as to how relieved i am to have finished this ridiculous, ridiculous story, haha. basically, one day i was surfing around the interwebs and LJ and apparently there is such a thing as a cliche_bingo and while i still don't even get what that means, i thought "oh hey, wouldn't it be awesome to jam a fic full of all those hilarious fic cliches"? so, um. i did that? and i'm sort of warring between extreme amusement and embarrassment of this and figured i'd post it in my bid to be rid of it, becuase ugh, be gone foul beast, haha. ummm, vague spoilers for the movie? and by movie, i mean the recent reboot since that's the only incarnation of Star Trek i am familiar with. i know, i know - fandom sacrilege. apologies. anyway, enjoy the cliche and the porn, yo!

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and your skin is something that i stir into my tea

rpf. these stories happen all the time; just because you have not heard them does not mean it didn’t happen. anne hathaway/scott speedman. rated r. 3501 words.

notes: i just realized i had not posted fic in close to two months. that is sad, sad times. and i think i have been working on this one for the better part of a month? haha, whoops. anyway, this is much in the vein of every other rpf fic i have written where no, none of this actually happened, but these people are rather hot and i feel like they probably should get it on, idk. also, a long time ago viennawaits wrote her own take on this pairing, a little bit elementary, and i love it to pieces and credit it for why i even bothered writing these two, haha. OKAY. BYE NOW.

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the worst-case scenario survival handbook

lost. a plane crashes in the jungle. if no one is alive to hear it, does it make a sound? original characters. rated r. 7860 words.

notes: haha, oh boy. this shall be known as the fic that ate my brain. and yes - original characters in a lost fic. oh, er, original of me? so, you remember that one time nikki and paulo were around and they were supposed to just be two random crash survivors and wound up being the most annoying jewel thieves on the planet? i sort of ran with that idea (minus the jewel thieving) and made two random background characters up and told the story through their eyes? THAT SAID: this is cracky and ridiculous and has zero literary (or fic) merit, haha. basically, i just really love deserted island stories. the end!

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bind with grout

lost. a confrontation in confined space (the bathroom smells like soap and him and her). juliet; jack/juliet. rated nc-17. spoilers through 5x11. 1866 words.

notes: for lenina20! her prompt was "jack/juliet, shower" and, yeah. this is exactly what you think it is: pretty much an AU continuation of this scene. so this is total porn. with angst! angsty porn! enjoy!

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honesty: the very best policy

better off ted. at veridian, we pride ourselves on being truthful – as well as using said truthfulness against our enemies. ted/veronica. rated pg. 1180 words. vague spoilers through 1.06.

notes: for dollsome! her prompt was "contagious, ted/veronica." hope you enjoy!

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the predatory nature of the sky

lost. the island watches; juliet never left; they all came tumbling back. juliet, jack/juliet, juliet/james. rated pg. 1127 words. spoilers through season five.

notes: for torigates! her prompt was "zoo," and i don't think i really stuck to that? *laughs* and i honestly have no idea where the majority of this came from, but, um, general season five spoilers?

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there is no leaving new york

rpf. memory is not foolproof, but neither are they. matthew goode/rose byrne, ensemble. rated r. 7439 words.

notes: wellll. this jumped up a notch. or seven. i had this whole vision of this - very much in line with the Rat Pack, or, hell, even Gatsby-esque: very much so about the rich and the famous and the tangled lives they lead. that really didn't happen? i don't know. instead we have a super long piece about the OTP introduced to me by the marvelous ineffort. and there are various cameos throughout the whole thing, it assumes that the events of this happened. and, uh, yeah. there will probably be another installment? i have no idea. my brain has been eaten. no offense is meant to any real people portrayed here within.

lastly, have some music to go with this.

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she wore plastic boots for rain

damages. she didn’t plan this, but sometimes it’s easiest to run with the obvious answers. ellen; ellen/tom. rated r. 1630 words.

note: vague spoilers through 2.06. i have no idea at all what motivated me to write this.

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things i did when i was dead

touching evil. killers kill and lovers love – things fall apart, just like they are always apt to do. susan; david/susan. rated nc-17. 5328 words.

notes: oh boy. so, i'm sort of obsessed with this show now? and there are spoilers for the entire season. and if you have not seen this show, remedy that, yo.


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you're not ulysses

lost. everyone keeps getting older – even him. richard; richard/alex. rated pg-13. spoilers through season 4. 2123 words.

notes: for the lostsquee fic battle! prompt was "Alex/Richard, extinguish." and, uh. i definitely went over the word limit for the comment space. and i have no idea what the accepted opinion out there is about Richard's age and all that good stuff. so, creative license? yeah?

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