esprit de l'escalier

rpf. odds are: one out of the four has occurred; keep trying till you get it right. mélanie laurent/august diehl (with diane kruger/michael fassbender and rose byrne/matthew goode). rated pg-13. 3760 words.

notes: IDK, you guys. this is what happens when i am snowed in without power - i sit around and write random shit like this. UM CLEARLY THIS IS NOT REAL LIFE. no offense made to any real people or whatever. i also do not condone infidelity (except in fictional circumstances, okay?). and, uh, i don't believe in writing chronologically. THE END. (also i don't know why i decided to mash up these three pairings in one fic, but i did! also, amy adams is in there somewhere, and i think that's your fault, May, because didn't you write a Matthew Goode/Amy Adams fic at one point? am i making that up? i'm making that up).

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every poem an epitaph

inglourious basterds. when they meet again, in a restaurant, a bottle of champagne and a young war hero for company, they will not be strangers; their kind has never been strangers to each other. shosanna; shosanna/hellstrom. rated r. pre-film. 3893 words.

notes: typical, right? also it's been, what? two weeks? that's pretty good considering my level of obsession interest in this pairing. and, um, warnings, let's see: this is AU in the sense it details events pre-film, this is non-linear with a forward moving story intertwined with the past, and considering the characters? there's vulgarity, there are racial slurs, profanity. and sex. of course. there is sex.

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I am about halfway back to DC and it seriously looks like I'm traveling through Narnia. I keep half expecting Tilda Swinton to pop out and offer me some turkish delights.

Classes start Monday! Woe is me. I have a ton of property law to read before then. Ughhh so not ready to get back into the swing of things. I feel like Winter Break just started. Alas. And for the record, I apparently wrote +15k words this break haha. If only fic-writing/RPF was a profitable career, lol.

ALSO, speaking of rpf, Tumblr has been a serious goldmine lately, haha. boones! I have been loving the shit out of your posts, haha.

Okay. Back on the road. Last thing: um, the Romeo and Juliet revamp might be a go. Thanks to endearlings, I have a cast. I'll try and post laterrrr. Au revoir!

intermission

inglourious basterds. no language has the words they could ever use; they get three days. shosanna, shosanna/hellstrom. AU. rated r. 5104 words.

notes: oh god. this is like the fic equivalent of a cry for help, haha. i clearly cannot get these two out of my head, ergo, more fic? endearlings, zauberer_sirin and boones: i am looking at you guys, haha. but, um, this was fun? i imagine some liberties have been taken in this (ie. time frames), it's not all that AU-ish, but i felt the need to warn? also, this is a lot more...strange (for lack of a better word) and abstract than i intended it to be. also, i feel like a lot of the thematic elements (LOL that sounds grand, right?) were influenced by Zau's awesome hummingbirds gone to hell. okay. i am going to go get some sleep now, heh.

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a timeline is an arrow

original. time marches forward and you can’t leap back. a ten year reunion on new year’s eve. rated pg. 2767 words.

notes: for inrevelations's fourth challenge, and for tealighttrees. the prompt was pretty open and I chose to go the New Year's Eve route, so i hope you enjoy this.

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the game is worth the candle

rpf. the door swings both open and shut; he’s going to pass through both ways. mélanie laurent/august diehl. rated pg-13. 3503 words.

notes: oh good god in heaven as if this wasn't inevitable? um, as always these are lies, lies not intended to offend and instead are merely the product of my winter break induced boredom/tumblr addiction/excess of time on my hands. as always, my darling endearlings, i am pretty sure this would not have happened without you, *laughs*.

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Wow, this took awhile, *laughs*. What do we have here? Fifty of what I consider to be my favorite films of the last decade. And a caveat to that? Favorite does not necessarily equal the best, and I know there are some films I have yet to see that might have made the list (The Hurt Locker, I'm looking at you), but whatever, I thought I'd do this while hanging out watching Pushing Daisies episodes with the family, haha. ENJOY.


( 50 FAVORITE FILMS OF THE DECADE )

Ohhhh boy. It never ends, haha. I think I seriously have a problem here, you guys. Like, call A&E because I'm a candidate for their little intervention show. Basically Inglourious Basterds and the completely non-canon pairing of Frederick/Shoshanna/Hellstrom (ok, let's be real: primarily Shosanna/Hellstrom) has eaten my brain and refuses to give it back. Not that anyone would ever want an eaten brain back? Ew. Gross imagery. IDK.

( BUT THIS MIX. LET'S TALK. )

pseudonyms

inglourious basterds. predestination does not allow an altering of history, try as you might; berlin after the war. shosanna, hellstrom, shosanna/hellstrom, shosanna/fredrick. 5684 words. rated nc-17. AU.

notes: OH SHIT SON. so this actually happened? aka, this pairing ate my brain over the course of exam week and over the course of two days, despite being strung out and hungover post-finals, my brain threw up this? without question, this business would not have happened without the glorious endearlings. also, this is AU. big time AU. like, AU as in this darling trio ran off to Berlin post-war and stirred up some shit AU. that said, this is dark and filthy and strange, and i've managed to bastardize Inglourious Basterds, so go enjoy and be merry.

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a room filled up with mosquitoes

community. to quote the great prophet lady gaga, you and me could write a bad romance. or something (in spanish, we would say: un romance malo; senor chang would be so proud). britta, jeff/britta, slight jeff/annie. rated r. spoilers through “debate 109.” 5005 words.

notes: um, yeah. so this happened? i really don't have anything to say other than that, heh.

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wishbone

bones. pull it till it breaks (or, an assortment of moments collected among the living and the dead (but mostly the dead)). brennan, booth/brennan. rated pg. 2432 words. spoilers through season 3 (OLD SCHOOL!)

notes: oh boyyy. i don't even know. i was trying to study this afternoon, and instead this kept pouring out of me? basically, i've been watching season three lately, and basically i have this really huge problem that there is never any fallout from the whole karaoke club shoot-out, for lack of a better term, and i am sure 90% of fandom has already written about this, but whatever, this is my long-winded way of saying: i do what i want, haha.

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MUTUAL ASSENT

rpf. everybody here’s got a familiar face; everybody knows your name. ensemble; rose byrne, diane kruger, matthew goode, michael fassbender, hugh dancy, etc., etc. rated pg-13. 3236 words.

notes: as usual: lies, lies, lies. but fun lies. and that's what's important, right?

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another apple to slice into pieces.

criminal minds. maps can chart more than geography – they’ve been everywhere and they’ve seen it all. hotch; hotch/prentiss. rated pg-13. 2384 words.

notes: no real spoilers? basically this takes place in some nebulous made-up period where either the season 4 finale never happened or has yet to happen. so AU? i guess?

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broken jaw and all

inglourious basterds. two guys and a girl walk out of a bar; this is what happens next. bridget von hammersmark/archie hicox. rated nc-17. 2098 words. AU.

notes: LOL you guys I don't even know. i feel like anything and everything i write these days needs to be preempted with a disclaimer of just how shameless i've become in the writing department. HI I AM SHAMELESS. also, in the late night hours, three glasses of vino in, i stumbled upon the Inglourious Basterds kink meme. and have i mentioned i have no shame? the prompt in question was: "Bridget von Hammersmark/Lt. Archie Hicox, gunplay, talking dirty. Bonus points if Stiglitz watches." did you really expect me to resist THAT? that said, this has ZERO literary/fic/shame-free merit, and um, i still can't believe i wrote this?

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mr. demille (we are ready for our close-up)

rpf. you know the expression well: a picture is worth a thousand words. you forget that often what goes unsaid matters most of all. diane kruger/michael fassbender. rated r. 4528 words.

notes: credit in part is dude to the always marvelous C, fated_addiction for letting me bounce ideas off of and being one of the best enablers around, *laughs*. also, this was written with notyourtea's current challenge, SCANDALS, in mind, heh. and as always: the following is not true. the end.

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events inspired by sergio leone

rpf. these things can be classified as the good, the bad, or the just plain ugly. diane kruger/michael fassbender. rated r. 6632 words.

notes: for fated_addiction! my fellow enabler! yeah, i went there. because seriously, dude. i apparently have no shame in the realm of rpf? whatever. lies, lies, upon more lies up in here.

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